Rick in Amsterdam

Sep. 8, 2010

Rick arrived in Amsterdam at who knows what time. He lost his internal clock somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean.

This was Rick's first time in Amsterdam — his first time ever abroad even — and the international flight was not the kind, gentle lover he had hoped to pop his cherry. Regardless of his less-than-perfect flight, Rick was beaming. He couldn't help but be anxious to partake in the city's most prized characteristic: the legal status of marijuana.

The concept alone was just amazing since it's vilified so harshly in the States. And not only was it legal right across the pond, but it was actually celebrated! Now, Rick didn't really even smoke pot, but you know what they say: when in Rome, do as the Romans do. And when in Amsterdam, smoke a ton of pot and get really, really stoned. He was pretty excited.

Almost immediately upon exiting the hostel where he was staying, this real slick dude with an accent approached Rick and asked "Do you wanna hookah?" Rick might not have been an avid smoker, but he knew exactly what hookahs were. In the States, they're an exotic way of smoking flavored tobacco, but when you're in a country that allows you to freely smoke marijuana, it's pretty much used exclusively for that. So Rick was pretty excited to be asked if he wanted to hookah. Or at least that's what it sounded like he said. What the man actually said was "Do you want a hooker?"

Rick failed to realize pot wasn't the only thing legal here.

Maybe it was his excitedness to do something that was only legal outside of his country, but Rick was completely oblivious to the fact that this guy was a pimp and he was luring in a potential customer. His flamboyant clothes and cane should have been a giveaway, but Rick really wanted to get high, so he heard what he wanted to hear. Maybe it was the accent, who knows. Trying to be cool, Rick enthusiastically said back to him "Sure! Flame it up and gimme that hose!" Bad choice of words.

And that, boys and girls, is how Rick lost his virginity.

JUST KIDDING! He lost his virginity way before he fucked that prostitute.

29 Comments

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