The inhabitants of this alternate reality willingly subject themselves to this on a daily basis. But it's a means to an end. They do it for the luxury of quick travel. And the airports capitalize on this. When you're waiting for your flight and want something to eat, you have no choice but to eat what's being offered. It's supply and demand. When you're rushing to your next flight and need a quick meal, you might momentarily forget how awful Cinnabon is and it somehow seems like a good idea at the time.
This all makes sense, though. One side or another, there's logic to why things are the way they are. You pay more because you have no other options. You eat Cinnabon because you're desperate. There is, however, one exception to this rule that I just can't wrap my head around: porn.
As with most people with time to kill between flights, it's common to peruse the little concession stores littered throughout the terminal. They all sell the same vending machine crap found at any gas station, but in place of the smell of gasoline permeating through the air, you get that weird recycled air that smells like a mixture of stale farts and an old closet that hasn't been opened in years. They also have a large collection of magazines, from Good Housekeeping to Wired to... well... Hustler.
Why is porn sold at the airport? What's the reasoning behind this? Everything else being sold is something that the busy traveler is in dire need of right at that very moment. They're hungry right then and there, so they buy some pretzels. Their flights were delayed and need some reading material to pass the time, so they pick up a newspaper. Are some people just so horny they can't wait a few more hours without seeing some tits?
Nobody actually reads porn on an airplane. You'll never see a guy just tilting his chair back and relaxing with a copy of Penthouse. In my mind, there's only three situations where selling porn at an airport makes any sort of sense.
1) Shame, or a lack thereof
Is it easier to buy porn at an airport? Porn purchasing can be a shameful experience for some. Do you feel like you're being judged by the woman behind the cash register when you walk up with a copy of Playboy? Of course you do, you dirty sinner. Would you be able to justify being judged if you were able to leave the state and likely never return? I guess that works, just as long as buying porn at an airport isn't your sole purpose for traveling.
2) The Mile High Club
Joining the Mile High Club is a dream of men everywhere, but opportunities to join don't really present themselves very often. Sometimes, you have to take the job into your own hands. Literally. I'm still unsure if masturbating on an airplane really qualifies you for the mile high club, but not all men share my uncertainty. So if some guy wants to join the ranks — solo — he can easily buy a magazine to help with liftoff.
3) Spitefulness
Imagine your flight gets canceled. The next available flight isn't until the next day. You flew on Delta so they don't give you a hotel or anything and you're forced to sleep in the airport. You're rightfully pissed off. To help kill some time, you figure you'll buy a couple magazines to read while you wait until the airport quiets down enough so you can fall asleep. While browsing their selection, you come across the nudie mags and a "brilliant" idea pops into your head: "Well, might as well jerk off in their bathroom." Spite them via masturbation! It may seem like a good way to get back at them, but that's just nasty. You're only making it harder for the other travelers.
It's your fault Newark is so gross, you spiteful jerk. Thanks a lot.
