I don't think an implied-sex marketing scheme is the right move for
a film centering around a group of kids. But maybe that's just me.
a film centering around a group of kids. But maybe that's just me.
The Last Airbender, out today, is the latest film by M. Night Shyamalan. As with most of his movies, there's a surprise twist at the end: as awesome as it might look, this movie will completely suck.
M. Night Shy Milan actually adapted a Nickelodeon show — That's So Raven, I think — for the screenplay. The original show centered around a mystical world where kids harnessed the power of Earth, Wind, Water and Fire. One kid in particular, could control all four. And by their powers combined, he is... CAPTAIN PLANET!
Actually, no, it's just some freaky little bald kid.
Like all kids, the ones in this movie just love pranks. But in this magical world, you don't just pin a note that says "Kick Me" to someone's back. You put a giant glowing arrow pointing to their face with a sign that says "Punch Here" on the back of their head.
Or maybe they're just glow in the dark tattoos. New age body mods, bros! I bet the dudes at BME are loving this.
When you think about it, this kid and Captain Planet have a lot in common. For instance, the kid, described as easy-going and fun-loving, is tasked with maintaining balance in the world. This dichotomous personality is perfectly illustrated by Captain Planet's green mullet: business in the front, party in the back.
So we've got Earth, Wind, Water and Fire, but we're missing Heart, that little Indian kid with a monkey. Maybe M. Night Sing-along is gonna be the Indian kid, the heart of the movie? He does give himself little roles in all his movies after all. Or maybe Heart will just be left out altogether. It wouldn't be the first time it happened. We all remember that Captain Planet-themed soul group that only included Earth, Wind and Fire.
It gets worse, of course. For some reason, that giant flying dog from The Neverending Story is coopted for the film, except it's now a giant flying sloth with six legs.
How frustrating. Also, the film is being released in 3D to make damn sure it gives you a headache. M. Night Shamalamadingdong has done it once again.
I guess it really isn't So Raven after all.
Meh.
