Cheerleading is Dangerous!

Jun. 14, 2010

I was recently made aware of the fact that the National Center for Catastrophic Sports Injury Research considers cheerleading to be the most dangerous sport amongst college students. Clearly, they've never played beer pong with grenades while on fire. The study states that cheerleading accounts for 70% of all catastrophic injuries amongst females.

Ready!? OK!!
*dies*

This is what Buddhists refer to as karma. Really, though, that's what you get for calling cheerleading a sport. I won't deny it's a very physically intensive activity that requires lots of practice, but no other sport primarily takes place DURING OTHER SPORTS. You never see a couple guys playing a quick game of 1-on-1 basketball between baseball innings. Although, that would be pretty cool. If they were to instead perform an interpretive dance, though... not so much. Dancing isn't a sport. It's just something you do.

There's plenty of activities out there masquerading as sports, but cheerleading takes the cake. Then refuses to eat it because they're on a diet and trying to lose three pounds.

Technically, though, one of the dictionary's definitions of sport is "an object of derision, a laughingstock." So maybe cheerleading is a sport after all.

And thus concludes our weekend feature: bitching about things that hardly anybody really cares about.

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34 Comments

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MattMelvin "Head Robot" [∞ posts]
2 years ago

Making fun of cheerleaders: the first step towards dissuading the advances of any and all attractive females.

Next target: Hooters girls.

KathanZul [27 posts]
2 years ago

'the National Center for Catastrophic Sports Injury Research considers cheerleading to be the most dangerous sport amongst college students.' ~ Is this seriously true? What about Rugby? (Or American Football) Surely throwing your body at another person and crashing down on the ground is a tad more painful than cheerleading?

Rebeccablah [3 posts]
2 years ago

painful but not catastrophic

KathanZul [27 posts]
2 years ago

Aye, I suppose that's true. But still. What is a possible catastrophe in cheerleading? Falling down and cracking your head open? I'd rather that than have 6 burly ass teenagers jump on me and crush my bones.

Anonymous
2 years ago

In the first season of heroes, clair jumps of a 5 metre high board thingy and snaps her ankle. It IS dangerous.

Anonymous
2 years ago

Yeah, I'm a jerk. I don't see a cheerleader falling on their head and cracking it as a catastrophe. It's just natural selection.

Anonymous
2 years ago

Corrected June 6 to reflect that it's the most dangerous FEMALE sport, not overall. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31571880/ns/sports-other_sports/

Anonymous
2 years ago

i lol'd at the cake

V2Blast [12 posts]
2 years ago

It is an adorable cake.

Anonymous
2 years ago

Its only dangerous because the idiots throw each other in the air and then can't catch each other. I play college lacrosse and our team has had significantly more injuries and ambulances called then the cheerleaders who drop each other at least once per performance.

Anonymous
2 years ago

ya lax is probably the most dangerous sport. I play middle school lax and the starting goalie got his leg SHATTERED during a game.

thats also why they have the defibrulators on the side of the field, cause if you take a fast enough ball to the chest, it can stop your heart.

ZeFrenchGhost [5 posts]
2 years ago

It seems like pole vaulting would be really dangerous too. Considering the object is to fling yourself high into the air and try to land on some padding instead of the hard ground.

_rawrcutie_ [116 posts]
2 years ago

Well, I still consider friggin ping pong to be the most dangerous. Especially in a gym full of fifth graders.

_rawrcutie_ [116 posts]
2 years ago

The cake is a lie.

Anonymous
2 years ago

ohhh, I laughed so hard at this :) and I hate to post anonymously, I actually DO have a twitter, but it won't let me sign in because twitter is 'over capacity.' whatever that means. just one more reason for me to dislike twitter.

jrau18 [4 posts]
2 years ago

That is an impossible piece of cake. The bread is exposed on the top, while having icing on the bottom. That would take all the fun out of eating it to have to scrape the plate with every bite.

Anonymous
2 years ago

but what if the bread is dark chocolate, and the frosting light chocolate...that would make the cake perfectly possible, eh?

anarchitekt [5 posts]
2 years ago

what if it is dark + light icing?---wouldn't that make that cake an impossibly impossible cake?

_rawrcutie_ [116 posts]
2 years ago

The person above me makes a valid point. =|

Anonymous
2 years ago

I dunno, that episode of Penn & Teller: ----shit! pretty much convinced me of the dangers of Cheerleading. It's like gymnastics with no safety regulations.

Anonymous
2 years ago

sorry, don't believe in twitter....u can get internal injuries from falling, also knew about a cheerleader, near the school i went to, who they caught 6 inches before falling to the ground, everyone thought she was fine, then she died from her internal organs bleeding out

Draithy [50 posts]
2 years ago

I'd say Duck Duck Goose is extremely dangerous, also, when played by 100 children aged 6 - 14 in a single gym with bleachers on either side... The acrobatically catastrophic consequences are both frightening and terribly, terribly amusing...

But seriously on the cheerleading. Not a sport, no, but dangerous. Had a cousin drop from the top of a pyramid once on a Monday and subsequently forgot her sisters wedding the Saturday before along with the whole weekend.... For about a month or so. Whoopie, concussions!!

Anonymous
2 years ago

I'd have that cake and eat it too.

Anonymous
2 years ago

Yeah I'm an anonymous jerk.
But seriously, after seeing several broken legs & collarbones, pulled muscles, cracked skulls, & a girl be air-lifed away from school after fracturing her spine in a cheerleading stunt & ending up paralyzed, I agree with the National Center for Catastrophic Sports Injury.

Anonymous
2 years ago

Atleast don't confuse dancing and cheerleading, they're so different (coughdancingishardercough)

Anonymous
2 years ago

I think curling is an extremely dangerous sport. Imagine tripping on that super clean floor.

guyfromupover [131 posts]
2 years ago

imagine those like 30lbs stones sliding down the ice, and getting your finger caught between twqo of them. you wouldn't have your finger anymore. They could also probably break your foot if it hit it.

Anonymous
2 years ago

The fact that lots of people are arguing over the most catastrophic sport is almost funnier then the actual article. And I would totally eat that cake.

guyfromupover [131 posts]
2 years ago

Lol matt, you sound like a grumpy gus when you posted this. Does someone need a hug? lol

_rawrcutie_ [116 posts]
2 years ago

Nah.. he needs some SPIRIT!!! Give me a M! Give me an A! Give me a T! Give me.. another T!

guyfromupover [131 posts]
2 years ago

naw, he just needs a nice stiff one or two. or maybe ten.

BadicalDude [30 posts]
2 years ago

*Gives Matt cake so he and cake can be happy together*

Anonymous
2 years ago

COMPETITIVE cheerleading is a sport. Cheerleading at other sports game though is not.

Anonymous
2 years ago

"Clearly, they've never played beer pong with grenades while on fire."

Shit, you mean that's dangerous?!