Obama has only been in office for two years thus far, but it's highly unlikely he won't complete a full term. So let's give him the benefit of the doubt and allot him four years, putting him on par with his opponent.
Andrew Johnson was a fairly average man, but with an unflinching attitude. If this were a staring contest, he'd trounce the competition. But it isn't, so he won't. I mean, have you seen those photos of Obama at the beach? Dude is ripped.
Winner:
Match #8: John Adams vs. George Washington
Here we go! President vs. Vice President! While Washington was in office, Adams served as VP. Upon Washington leaving office, Adams stepped up and took over, but only for a single term. This gives Adams a slight advantage in being able to so closely observe his opponent while he was in office, but a huge disadvantage time-wise.
Neither fighter was very masculine or gruff. Sure, Washington may have led an army or something, but he did wear those frilly, ruffled shirts and fancy powdered wigs. How fey. They were this close to being the first cross dressers in American history. Regardless, with four minutes of free range beating time, Washington would beat Adams to within an inch of his life.
Adams would then be taken back to his farm in Quincy to try and recover. Here he would whisper his last words: "Thomas Jefferson survives." But little does he know that Clinton whupped Jefferson's ass last week.
Winner:
Hey, sports fans. Cliff McNaughton here.
*the sound of quivering sadness*
My co-host Charlie... had to... step out for a while. But how 'bout those matches, huh? Oh god...
There's... there's so much blood.
Why, Charlie, why!? How could you leave me? How could leave me with these people?
Oh, it's all your fault! You animals! You sons of bitches! You didn't deserve Charlie Cavanaugh! You didn't deserve him at all! You just wanna see blood! You wanna see some blood? I SAID YOU WANNA SEE SOME BLOOD!? WELL HERE'S SOME BLOOD, MOTHER FUCKERS!
*gunshot*
Click to enlarge.
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