Clinton and Jefferson mirror each other in some very interesting ways. Clinton was known for being a strong supporter of physical fitness; Jefferson stayed indoors to write the Declaration of Independence. Clinton was an avid saxophone player; Jefferson stayed indoors to design houses. Clinton was a total ladies' man, hooking up with interns left and right; Jefferson stayed indoors and fucked his slaves.
Clinton, even with that whole looming impeachment debacle, still stayed in office for a full two terms. Jefferson doesn't stand a chance. It's not even close. Jefferson was a writer, not a fighter. Clinton would wreck him then pick up his sax and play everyone some smooth jazz.
Winner:
Match #8: Dwight D. Eisenhower vs. Ronald Reagan
Like the previous match, our two opponents seem to be complete polar opposites of each other. Eisenhower was a career soldier while Reagan was acting in Hollywood. Oddly enough, Reagan actually saw more action. Eisenhower was a commander, so he had a great wealth of military knowledge, but didn't do much actual fighting. He was a glorified desk jockey. Reagan, however, took a bullet to the chest during an assassination attempt. Of course, being the manly man that he is, he recovered quickly.
Eisenhower may be a masterful commander and military planner, but that doesn't help much in hand-to-hand combat. Plus, Reagan was one handsome son of a bitch.
Winner:
And there we have it! The first half of round one is now complete. You can see the updated brackets below. How did your picks hold up? Any big upsets? Did you actually put your money on Truman? God you're dumb. You should be ashamed of yourself. See you next week, loser.
Click to enlarge.
