Without a physical book, it's really hard to show people how much better I am than they are.
Forget about the smell of a new book or the aesthetics of dog-tagging pages and picking out bookmarks, flaunting my superiority is of the utmost concern. And the Kindle just can't do it. Putting influential works of literature in prominent places throughout my apartment in hopes of impressing visitors is just something the Kindle isn't capable of.
How else am I supposed to subtly condescend to others by letting them know about my advanced literary taste? Do you really expect me to read all these books and somehow work that fact into conversation? Please. You've severely misunderstood my intentions. I don't actually want to read Ulysses; I just want people to think I have.
And what about coffee table talking pieces? I need an actual physical book to help start my conversations. You can't just lay a Kindle on the table with The Grapes of Wrath on the screen. It doesn't work like that.
Technology is great and all, but sometimes you just need the real thing. Granted, I'm pretty much completely devoid of physical CDs nowadays, but music and literature are two entirely different beasts. If I wanted to be patronizing about music, I'd be commenting on others' musical choices, not my own. So I'm sorry, Amazon, but no thanks. I just have no use for a Kindle.
Unless I'm trying to impress gadget freaks...
or 
