Spin-off: How Stella Lost Her Groove in the First Place

Spin-off: How Stella Lost Her Groove in the First Place
Mar. 3, 2010


Groove, style, mojo: whatever name you call it by, Stella Payne (Angela Bassett) has it. Or at least she had it.

Stella was once the grooviest chick in town. Her groove was unsurpassed by no other. Every man wanted her and every woman wanted her too. That's right, she was so groovy she turned totally hetero women into full-blown lesbos. But even a groove like hers could only last for so long before it all came crashing down.

Now she's 40. She overworks herself at her boring suit-and-tie job, her husband Walter (James Pickens Jr.) refuses to fuck her anymore and she drowns herself in drugs and alcohol. Unable to cope with the pain, thoughts of suicide are becoming more and more common. This is the harrowing tale of a woman losing what meant most to her and her subsequent spiral into crippling depression.

Also, Whoopie Goldberg is in it.

 Stella Payne: The Original Cougar

*whip sound*
 

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smexcshawny  [2 posts]
6 months ago
Loving it!!!

 
 
Anonymous
6 months ago
I just wanted to express my amusement about the last sentence with W. Goldberg and I had to hear, that I'm a lame-o, cause I don't have twitter. I'm so sad right now.

 
 
DJweegee  [3 posts]
6 months ago
Haha! "She got old." Matt, I love you.

 
 
Unendingfear  [23 posts]
6 months ago
I remember this webcomic!!!!!!! 8D

 
 
guyfromupover  [124 posts]
6 months ago
Indeed sounds... not that entertaining.

 
darkerthanlight  [15 posts]
5 months ago
but Whoopie Goldberg is in it...thou hast no heart for whoopies :(

 
 
ExtremeHangman  [35 posts]
6 months ago
Well, I too can turn completely heterosexual women into full-blown lesbians. So, yeah, fuck that.

 
 
a7xbuckeye99  [33 posts]
6 months ago
lols, this article is a stroke of genius

 
 
Anonymous
6 months ago
Hah, hilarious. I like how the story is twisted in a darker way

 
 
gimpymexi  [1 post]
6 months ago
oh wow.... *whip sound* kinky... :D hahahah

 
 
Anonymous
6 months ago
Lame-o I may be, but what do *you* have to say for yourself, Mr. Synopsis Author?

"Her groove was unsurpassed by no other."

Aha, double negative!!! That means her groove WAS surpassed by ALL others, yup.... not much to lose then, after all =P

Contrariwise, I really thought this was funny after I got over the little typo, hehe

 
GAPutress  [26 posts]
6 months ago
Indeed.