B-Movie Mania: Tokyo Gore Police, Pt.5

B-Movie Mania: Tokyo Gore Police, Pt.5
Part 5 of 5   |   1  2  3  4  5
Jan. 29, 2010
Oh, but this fight isn't over yet. Much like the black knight in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, the loss of a few limbs is no reason for the chief to back down. He's a fighter! But unlike the black knight, he's actually capable of doing something other than just sit there.

Magic juice gooooo!


He takes two syringes full of magic green stuff and injects them into what's left of his legs. I'm not sure what's in those syringes, but its bright green, and if the long history of green gunk in movies tells us anything, this is gonna make something awesome happen. It doesn't make him grow engineer-type legs if that's what you're thinking, though. He just starts bleeding a lot.

And then bleeding even faster.

And even faster.

And the next thing you know the force of the blood flow IS ENOUGH TO LIFT HIM INTO THE AIR!



His legs are now BLOOD-FUELED ROCKET LEGS! Holy fucking shit, right? Don't bother thinking about how much blood the average human body has, or what kind of pressure would be required to lift a full-grown man without the lower half of his legs. This isn't Mythbusters. Just enjoy it for what it is: cinematic ecstasy.

As awesome as his bloody rocket legs are, they really don't help him much. Ruka flings him into a wall then cuts his head off.

Then poses.



THE END

 Get all the gratuitous violence and gore you'll ever need with the DVD! 

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34 Comments
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leku623  [5 posts]
2 years ago
I didn't think that this could get any more absurd. Thank you for proving me wrong.

 
 
Anonymous
2 years ago
Best.
Movie review.
On earth.
EVER.

 
 
Anonymous
2 years ago
Not to be an ass but you spelled LIFT, life - the part with the rocket blood lol. Just thought you'd be interesting in knowing is all

 
MattMelvin  "Head Robot"  [∞ posts]
2 years ago
Good eye. :)

 
 
CyanideAndMania  [13 posts]
2 years ago
I'm sad this is over :')

 
 
bmhasenbeck  [9 posts]
2 years ago
So epic, I actually wanna watch this movie now...

 
 
shonen413  [2 posts]
2 years ago
God I hope there is a sequel.

 
 
UltraTimeAgain  [12 posts]
2 years ago
Actually if I followed the movie correctly (Which I probably didnt) The Chief's little bondage thingy is a guy. (I believe he refers to him as he during the showdown)

 
MattMelvin  "Head Robot"  [∞ posts]
2 years ago
I'm pretty sure it's female. The chief unmasks her at one point (to orally service him, of course) and if that wasn't a lady it was the most androgynous man I've ever seen.

 
UltraTimeAgain  [12 posts]
2 years ago
I remembered that scene and I thought. "Ok it is a chick, whatever", but could of swore at the end he refers to it as a "He"

 
Anonymous
2 years ago
There isn't a difference between he or she in Japanese, so it's a translation error.

other than that. the uncle has a second eye under his eyepatch. Great! a backup eye secured under a steel plate!
And just as it was about to become handy the patch flips up...

 
 
emgud  [1 post]
2 years ago
You've just made the movie awesome! :D

 
 
Anonymous
2 years ago
... Well, on that note, I figured out where Ruka's freaky arm thing came from. Back at the beginning of the movie, she was slashing her arm to shit, right? Well, it's probably because of that that she got the awesome dragon head.

"Go ahead and cut yourself, kids, you'll grow a dragon head!"

 
 
a7xbuckeye99  [34 posts]
2 years ago
I was surprised the video store had a copy of this.I nutted within the first 5 minutes due to the awesomeness

 
 
mrmortslah  [5 posts]
2 years ago
hahaha Matt, your a god amongst nerds. seriously you kick ass so much. i cant wait i get a giant cannon penis thing, fingers crossed.

 
 
Anonymous
2 years ago
Is that the gimputee girl in the last shot with Planet Terror-esque M16 limbs?

 
 
Anonymous
2 years ago
I would just like to say that gimp thing with the swords for legs and arms remind me so much of the creatures in the game "the suffering" maybe the programers got the idea of that character type from this movie

 
 
Anonymous
2 years ago
i cant wait to watch this awesome movie. I WANT A DICK CANNON!!!!

 
 
guyfromupover  [131 posts]
2 years ago
so am i the only one to notice that sword limb girl now has guns for limbs in the last photo but swords in the earlier one? Matt explanation needed!

 
 
Anonymous
2 years ago
Ruka breaks the swords on the freaks legs, so it seems at the end she mounted few guns on it just to make her pose more kickass.

Btw i actually saw this movie...the most funny thing about it is that the makers mean this shit seriously, its supposed to be a horror! I laughed my ass off , especially at the scene with the lab doctor and his hand launcher. Lamest and weirdest movie ever made.

 
 
Anonymous
2 years ago
dude. DUDE. i need this. NOW.

 
 
Anonymous
2 years ago
Wait, then it's over, what about that dungeon slave there with machine gun limbs?

 
 
Anonymous
2 years ago
After reading this review, I must see this movie.
Dick Cannon: "BANG BANG SKEET SKEET."
I think this movie gives "cumshot" a whole new meaning. Lol. ;D

 
 
CornfireDublin  [4 posts]
2 years ago
Who the fuck would pay $13 for this?

 
 
pandoodle  [11 posts]
2 years ago
Almost as fun as the movie itself :D
You should do meatball machine next, aliens who attack poeple and make them into alien-cyborg-killingmachines with weapons sticking out the body. Then they just go around and kill eachother, with no apparent reason other than eating something from their bodies.

 
 
Anonymous
2 years ago
the whole middle finger epidemic was to be shown in slow motion, right? cause i couldnt stop laughing at the poor quality of moviness, that, and the fact he got middle fingered to death.

 
 
Anonymous
2 years ago
Y'know, after watching the movie, I couldn't help but think the sword-leg-S&M-hat-have-you creature probably would have been cooler if it hadn't been a rip-off of the Slayer from The Suffering.

http://thesuffering.wikia.com/wiki/Slayers

Dammit Japan, you stole our idea and made it into something much less badass and much more likely to rape our children... Just like what you did to Seagal.

 
 
Anonymous
2 years ago
dude, if u loved this u should totally check out Riki-Oh: the story of riki-oh, youtube it.


 
 
Anonymous
2 years ago
I watched this movie about 2 weeks ago, and I've gotta say, you hit the nail right on the head. AMAZING MOVIE. SO MUCH GORE SO MUCH CAPSLOCK!

 
 
frickmann123  [1 post]
2 years ago
Well now. If you're reviewing absolutely ridiculous Japanese B-movies, you should check out Machine Girl. Like, now.

 
 
DavidRC9702  [8 posts]
2 years ago
If you like truly screwed up movies like this one, you should definitely check out Sixty Million Dollar Man, Matt. You will NOT regret it.

 
 
Anonymous
2 years ago
I've only just read this post but thought I had to add that after having seen this film (the weirdest film ever) it ends with an advert, similar to the style of the Tokyo Police ones, for the Japanese military or something. I do believe they are making 'Tokyo Gore Army' or something along those lines. Crazy as hell.

 
 
kate_is_  [1 post]
2 years ago
Please, more b-mania!! I was laughing about this for a good 30 mins!!! Funniest thing I've read ever!!!

 
 
nvanwensen  [1 post]
2 years ago
Its somewhat impossible to decapitate someones limbs...
Apart from that very funny!